miznarrator: (Bden alone with the keys)
Part 3 )
miznarrator: (Ryan b&w clandestine)
Part 1 )
miznarrator: (Bden talking of michelangelo)
Part 2 )
miznarrator: (Ryan be-hatted)
La nuit commence ici (The night starts here)

Band(s): Panic, MCR
Pairing(s): Brendon/Ryan
Word Count: ~22k
Rating/Warnings: NC17 - pre-fic character death, suicide attempt
Summary: Paris, 1921. Three years after the armistice, Ryan's still trying to come to terms with the death of his best friend Spencer. He's living in Montparnasse, far from the village outside Cannes where they grew up, working on an opera in his honour, when he meets a handsome stranger, Brendon, who's all to eager to help. In between rounds of amazing sex, he helps Ryan write the score and gains him introductions into a theatre where the production can take place. Ryan knows there's more to Brendon than he wants to acknowledge, but he can't guess HOW much. When the production goes horribly wrong on opening night, however, Ryan's forced to write a whole new score, to exact his revenge on the lover who betrayed him.

A/N: This fic would not exist but for crazy conversations with [livejournal.com profile] heartequals last November. Camden is bestevs, and this fic is 100% dedicated to her. ♥

Many thanks also to my myriad betas, including [livejournal.com profile] sandwich_armada for the musicky help and [livejournal.com profile] sunsetmog, [livejournal.com profile] softlyforgotten and [livejournal.com profile] heartequals again. Special thanks to [livejournal.com profile] olivia_circe and [livejournal.com profile] sunsetmog for useful research books! Any remaining inconsistencies or errors are all my responsibility.

As far as possible, historical accuracies have been maintained. Please let me know if you spot anything rly obviously wrong! No names have been changed, because everyone in bandom is so Anglo (or Not French) it would just look ridiculous.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

Bonus Tracks/Enhanced Content

Fanart:
"Yes, I like this," Brendon says, fingertips resting on the page propped up on the piano, playing the first two chords, then rippling into a brief melody. "But don't you think it would sound a little more..." He shrugs both shoulders, and Ryan would interject if he knew what Brendon meant. "Like--this." by [livejournal.com profile] sekkritbandomlj

Fanmix:
Il Dolce Suono by [livejournal.com profile] blackwayfarers
miznarrator: (teenyweemos pocket royalty)


My art is by [livejournal.com profile] sekkritbandomlj. I love love love this. As [livejournal.com profile] heartequals said, there's three characters in this picture. :D



1. "Have You Seen in Your Dreams" - Miracle Fortress

In a dream that I'd saved
from a memory of days,
confusion was waste,
and the lightness the place


2. "The Night Starts Here" - Stars

The time we have
The task at hand
The love it takes
To destroy a man

The ecstasy
The being free
That big black cloud
Over you and me


3. "Plates & Saucers" - The Acorn

Let me make you an offer
Take the glass from this plate and saucer
Hold it up to your mouth
Though you haven't been a bother
At all


4. "Sometimes" - My Bloody Valentine

Over there, and I want true love to grow
You can't hide, oh no, from the way I feel
Turn my head
Into sound


5. "Che gelida manina" from La Bohème - Giacomo Puccini

(trans.)
I will tell you in two words
Who I am, what I do
And how I live. May I?
Who am I? A poet.
What do I do? I write.
And how do I live? I live.


6. "Loch Raven" - Animal Collective

I will not give up on you


7. "Lust" - The Raveonettes

I fell out of heaven
to be with you in hell
my sin's not quite seven
nothing much to tell

Lust I haven't craved
A sainted boy I'm not
I'll take it to my grave
A side cursed on rot


8. "Mild und leise" from Tristan und Isolde - Richard Wagner

(trans.)
Softly and gently
how he smiles,
how his eyes
fondly open


9. "The Funeral" - Band of Horses

And every occasion I will be ready for the funeral
And every occasion once more is called the funeral
Every occasion I am ready for the funeral
And every occasion one brilliant day funeral


10. "Cryptograms" - Deerhunter

My greatest fear, I organized
Into something more realized
And now what's left I get to spend
Knowing that its about to end


11. "Vissi d'arte, vissi d'amore" from Tosca - Giacomo Puccini

(trans.)
I lived for art, I lived for love.

I gave jewels for the Madonna's mantle,
And I gave my song to the stars, to heaven,
Which shone forth with greater radiance.
In the hour of grief
Why, why, Lord
Ah, why do you reward me thus?


12. "Disaster" - The Besnard Lakes

Baby come on, baby come on, baby come on
I think there's someone here to see you

You've got disaster on your mind
They see the secrets in your eyes
They've got disaster on their minds
If they were to find you on their side


13. "Dance macabre" - Camilla Saint-Saëns

14. "I Live with You" - Grizzly Bear

Return
Don’t put me on
Return
Don’t make me beg
Return
And they’ll try, they’ll try
They’ll try
To keep us apart
And you’ll try, you all try
You’ll try to keep us apart
But yes we can
You brought us this far
We’ll do what we can




Mix here

I love this mix by [livejournal.com profile] blackwayfarers. It's nothing at all like what any of the music sounds like in the fic, but it manages nevertheless to work absolutely brilliantly. It works so well, I even changed the title thanks to it!
miznarrator: (Ryan blow me)
me: now am tryign to find pix of paris metro in 1920
MY LIFE.
Melanie: Is this just because you need to know as an author, or because you're putting it in the text?
me: I...
kind of need to know for both
if the seats were wooden or padded, how the doors opened, if the whole journey would have been underground...
so I can put five words into an existing sentence
hahahaha omg I'm insane

...

me: oh good grief
paris had the olympics in 1924!
HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT.
Melanie: not a single one of your readers is going to know that
nobody knows that
me: hahaha
<3
Melanie: even the olympics committee doesn't know that
me: shhh shhh
you're making me lol at my desk
Melanie: you are probably the only person in the whole world who still knows that
me: I just found it out, just now
Melanie: Well, make sure you remember it, because you're probably unique in the universe
I could make you a badge
me: ilu srsly
miznarrator: (teenyweemos pocket royalty)
Go Ask Alice, or, ADD(ict)

Band(s): Panic at the Disco
Pairing(s): Ryan/Brendon, Brendon/Spencer
Word Count: 22 198
Rating/Warnings:NC-17 with warnings for drug (ab)use, dubcon, violence, mental health issues including suicidal ideation, religious conflict. Very dark, okay?
Author Notes: This would not exist were it not for Easter Sunday and [livejournal.com profile] alchemywow. She also made the ending work. Extra-super-special thanks go to [livejournal.com profile] sunsetmog for relentless cheerleading, and to [livejournal.com profile] heartequals who came in at the 11th hour to help me figure out this structure and betaed! Thanks also to [livejournal.com profile] calathea for extra beta help.

The details regarding how the LDS works, and the medications Brendon takes are accurate as far as I could find via google. Title from Go Ask Alice and White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane.

One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small... )
miznarrator: (Ryan drugz au)
I got two fanmixes for this fic, but because I spent most of my writing time with a playlist, there are THREE mixes!

First, a fantastic mix with GORGEOUS cover art from [livejournal.com profile] scatterheart. Just lookit HOW PRETTY.





Go here and download, it's AWESOME.

Second, and really importantly, [livejournal.com profile] alchemywow threw together a playlist for me as well. Since she was instrumental in the creation of this whole universe, I think her take on a mix is absolutely fabulous.

Tracklisting for  )

Download here!

Finally, for those who might be interested, the mix I listened to while writing. I managed to assign a song to nearly every scene, but it doesn't flow very well as a mix. If you want to check in to see what song soundtracks each scene, though, here you go!

Writing mix )

Download Writing Mix!

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miznarrator: (Default)
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